sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
