Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
