i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize