Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
