Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
