I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
