thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
