we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i think i have two assholes
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
