Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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