And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
