If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I'm at about main and main street
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
