Need sex. Gaining weight.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
