I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
