Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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