belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
