this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
