she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Semen is not good for contacts.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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