i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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