I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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