My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
