I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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