Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
