Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
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