Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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