Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
