On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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