I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
