no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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