So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
