I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
