Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
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