we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
