this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
