The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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