Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
