My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he wants to bone in the snuggie
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
