what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
