Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize