He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
