You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
