No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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