Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
