Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
420 ftw
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
