it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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