If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
