Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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