ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
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