Sponge bath it is.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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