Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Randomize
