My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
