I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
