I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
