I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
