That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
