he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
