ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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