What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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