I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
