Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
