Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
