I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
