I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
