Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
