My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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