Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I'm sobbing to NWA
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
