Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
