um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
She bit a glass in half.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
