Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
