I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
