I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
