from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
